i felt that i'm a completely a failure in my family eyes....
i resist not to cry but i can't....
throughout my lives...nothing can actually shows them that i actually "I can do it"
i didnt complain that they treat me bad or what...
they treat me really Good but.....
it just why i cant be like other sister and brothers...
i really wanna to know is it the problem occur during my childhood time....
think back my childhood time...i dunno whether...i develop the right way or not...
my mom born me on the aged of 37 my dad is 41
dad working all day long even saturday & sunday
mom working all day long too...sewing all the mattress...
sis working part time....then study college
big bro study....then went to penang to study
2nd bro study then went to serdang to study
3rd bro study but when he was a primary school student he play with me....but when he grow up...he didnt play wit me anymore...and our communication is lack due to some problems
when i wan to join them play, they dont allow me to play with them.....and i'm just alone
And i always playing with my OWN world and till now i'm still in this condition
i dunno whether i'm abnormal or wat...i hav no choice~~~
whoever i know none of them i feel i can share my whole true story to them...juz only 1
is my OWN world....this OWN world only i feel that i can say or share it out~~~~
every single time i think about it....i really really cry it out....
but actually who cares that i cry...who wanna to know that i cry...so what...it just a big baby crying....and so what....
but who cares about my feeling.....i know i'm dumb, i'm stupid, i know nothing, what i do all are just 3 minutes works....i'm slow learner...listen only front and back part.....
i'm not smart....i'm not good speaker.....whatever things I just stupid on it....
but i have no choice...i have to grow out of it...i have to force myself....but none of them have no trust on me....It just little support from u...i already satisfied....
please don't look at me as a dependent child....let me try...i dont mind how hard is it....just let me try......just me some time....just some time...~~~
